I came up with this title because of several reasons...first one being, its been more than a year that I am writing back on my blog...God knows had I been sleeping or too busy with family life or just plain lazy to spend time with myself (how dumb is that??)Well...whatever it was...its not that I never thought of writing but simply that I never felt like I had something to write about...(read as - my brain was in an hybernating mode).
Well it is going to be a very new beginning of my life in just a little more than a month from now...A new chapter of my life is being written and it had been 'under construction' since the past 8 months! Add the numbers and you will get what I am talking about...
All the new moms (did you not guess it till now - duh!!) and to-be-moms are advised to keep a journal of their first pregnancy or any pregnancy for that matter...jot down their day-to-day fears, experiences, body changes, dreams and the likes...anything that they want their baby to know (what abt not know-i am always scared abt this part)...anything that they do not want to forget (what if they don't want to remember?) about their pregnancy term...their best-laid plans for the new-born and blah-blah blah stuff like that!!
Well just like the way I am...lazy and uncaring, I although decided at the very beginning that I will soon start maintaining one...The "Soon" of my life never came accross until (may be) now!
8 months later : (wide eyed - not you...me)...now I actually realise how lazy I am!! :(
Start from the start...
As is said in America that more than 50% of the pregnancies are not planned...mine falls midway between planned and unplanned! I do not know if I planned it or semi-planned it...but in this planning of my notorious mind there was never a "WE" planning...meaning my husband as usual had no idea what went on or was going on in the hearts of my hearts during those months of semi-planning! Neither did I know what my semi-conscious brain was planning...or my heart wanted...on the fore-front I never thought there was anything (any fight/debate) going on within me regarding this matter...never did I even consciously try to sort it out or even remotely thought that it was necessary...I told myself there is nothing I am thinking about :)
And then one day it happened...when I forced myself to pull out that pregnancy test strip and take the test ;-) Just like that...nothing is gonna show up but let's have fun...he he!!
I was half glad and half surprised with the result (can't say I was sad...a little unsure may be) and now that I try to recall it, I think my mind smiled while I looked at the test window showing a positive!
A little unsure of when to share it with the father-to-be, I kept the news to myself for a day or two...absorbing it...may be confirming it...more so thinking how to break the ice within me (was i cold??)!
Disturbed...to be continued!
